The Squirrel Insurrection Continues

In an item I missed from Oct 23rd, we find that the squirrels have adapted their tactics, making it almost inevitable that we will soon be mired in a Vietnam like quagmire. A single squirrel freedom fighter has successfully carried off a suicide attack on a National Grid power substation in Brockton, Mass. leaving 13,000 homes and businesses without power. If one dedicated squirrel can accomplish such a feat without the benefit of modern weapons and Haliburton, were are all surely lost.

And if that is not enough, our latest dispatch comes from Oil City, Pa. where one of those feisty tree rats has attacked a federal employee. This is the sitrep as reported:

Barb Dougherty, 30, a U.S. Postal Service employee, said she was attacked and bitten Monday by a squirrel while delivering mail in Oil City, about 121 kilometres north of Pittsburgh.

“I saw it there on the porch, put the mail in the box and turned to walk away and it jumped on me,” Dougherty told the Derrick newspaper, who said the animal then ran up her leg and onto her back.”I eventually got a hold of the tail and pulled it off me. No one was home at the house where I was delivering the mail, but the neighbour lady heard me screaming and came over.”

An ambulance took Dougherty to a hospital, where she was treated for cuts and scratches. The squirrel was killed.

I suppose this is an improvement over the previous skirmishes, given that the critter was turned off. Unfortunately, it can not last. Not as long as the current administration refuses to provide letter carriers with up armored delivery trucks and adequate body armor.

Besides, who’s to say the squirrels are not right?

This entry was posted in News of the Weird, Playtime. Bookmark the permalink.